This blog begins with just the simple lists.
In-depth rambling follows down below
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MY 13 FAVORITE MOVIES

I couldn't limit the list to 10. Every time I tried to winnow it down, I was unable to identify any entry that could be demoted. (I struggled with this for days and questioned myself repeatedly, testing my resolve). There are a number of movies fighting to get onto this list -- but at this moment, these 13 hold strong. I cherish these movies. The list isn't particularly high-brow, but when I look at it I know that these are the 13 movies I hold closest to my heart. They are very dear to me. This is the list I will carry to my grave.


THE NEXT FAVORITE 11 MOVIES

These are the 11 movies that have all been on the above list at one time or another. I love these movies. But when it came down to it -- I couldn't put them on the top 10 list somehow (which became at top 13 list). These movies are right below the top list. Often I re-shuffle and a few of these end up going to the majors. But for now they get their own list. These are the very highly-esteem second favorites.


GREAT BAD MOVIES

Bad movies can be just as exhilarating as great films. These 10 represent some of the best times I have ever had in the theater. Although some are truly awful, they provide a form of pleasure that is as intoxicating as it is rare.


And now, the in-depth discussion...

MY 13 FAVORITE MOVIES

1. REAR WINDOW*
I put a star next to this title because this is my all time favorite movie. Actually, I believe this may be the best movie ever made. I think it is certainly Hitchcock's best (narrowly outpacing VERTIGO). The construction of the story is a work of art. The main plot (a murder), the secondary plot (a troubled relationship) and the surrounding half-dozen-or-so minor plots (the neighbors) are woven together brilliantly, each story-line mirroring and commenting on the others. I first saw REAR WINDOW at Black Butte Ranch, a resort in Bend, Oregon, in 1986. My 9 th grade friend (Mark Sacco) and I rented it. As we watched he carefully and methodically ruined every plot point and every surprise by telling me exactly what was going to happen next, minute by minute, throughout the entire film. I have owned and worn out numerous VHS copies of this film. In college, a girl named Lydia dumped me when I went over to her room and wanted to watch the movie more than I wanted to have sex with her. This is Hitchcock's most tightly constructed film (interesting that his cameo finds him winding a clock), his best story, his greatest achievement. It plays out slowly and dazzlingly. I spent a good deal of time in college trying to obtain a recording of the soundtrack, believing my life would be complete when I had it. I once saw REAR WINDOW on Channel 12 in Portland, Oregon in the middle of the night -- they had re-edited it with a cheesy dream-sequence to make the solution of the mystery more obvious (for the brain-dead). I called the station at 1 am and complained angrily to a janitor who happened to answer the phone. I also wrote a very mean letter. Although there are many reasons to love this seamless, perfect film, I must say what gets me is the set, and the colors. The little Greenwich Village courtyard is alive and bustling inside a Hollywood soundstage. And the sunset over the neighborhood is breathtaking. Grace Kelly's green jacket -- the color alone -- is impossibly beautiful. The 50's Technicolor cinematography must be experienced on the big screen. The DVD had extended footage of the set and the plans to build it, but I see it as one of the cruel cruelties of life that I will never be able to see the set for myself, with my own two eyes. I am obsessed with the colors in this movie. The color of the sky, the clothing, the apartment, the buildings. How can they be? All of them painted inside a perfect story. It's genius. What have you done with her?

2. BLADE RUNNER
This movie is all about the set and the design. There are very few movies with a "look" that can rival this one. I've seen it in the theater five times, including once with the original voice-over (by Harrison Ford) when it was first released. And I once saw a scratchy copy in a dilapidated theater across from my house on Wilshire in Los Angeles. The theater (which was soon after converted into a new age church) was run down and full of homeless men and drunks. Chris Parnell and I sat in the back of the theater and watched the movie on the gigantic screen. Again, I bought the soundtrack twice (the cheesy first release by the "American Orchestra", and then the actual Vangelis release years later). Although I never got too wrapped up in the 'implications' of the plot, I have been continually mesmerized by the images: the snapshot of the little girl with her mother that slowly and only momentarily comes to life; the machine that analyzes the photos, Ford's apartment, the sunset outside the Tyrell building, the ruined city, the rain, the crowds. This movie is beautiful. The footage of the forest at the end of the first cut is actually comprised of outtakes from THE SHINING. Also -- the special effects are all phenomenal because this was before CGI -- so everything looks real. Watch for the men dressed as nuns. This movie takes place in a beautiful, scary, urban wasteland. It is gorgeously dirty. Film noir from the future.

3. THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK
Anyone my age will probably remember waiting in the endless lines to see this movie. It seemed that you had to wait through a whole screening in order to be able to get in. I remember seeing it at the Westgate Theater in Portland, Oregon, and as we left wanting to run by the humongous line that snaked around back screaming out the big secret: Darth Vader is Luke's father! My mother encouraged me strongly not to do this. No one in that line (no one in the country) had any idea that this huge, terrible plot development awaited them, and it was horribly delicious to be in the know. This was one of those great life-changing movies -- when you knew that the whole country was waiting for it to open, wanting to see it, seeing it with you, talking it over. The zeitgeist. I do remember being let down at the end, but I was too young to understand that the 2 nd part could end unhappily. Actually, the Westgate theater was the second (mandatory) time we saw the movie -- this time with dad too. The first time it was just mom, brother BJ and me at a theater I can't remember (Washington Square?). But that screening represents the last time I ever got up during a movie to go to the bathroom or get something to eat (big moment in a young moviegoer's life). I also remember very clearly turning to my mom when Yoda spoke and saying "That's the voice of Grover. That's Frank Oz." And my mom said "Oh, no it's not." Also, as the lights came up I remember being very sad that we would have to wait 3-4 years for the next installment. This movie is the best of the Star Wars series (which went seriously awry.) I saw the re-release again in the mid 90's -- at Mann's Chinese Theater in Los Angeles. Again, a life-changing movie-going experience. We saw it twice, me and Steve Cohen. I think we may have actually staggered out of the theater. We ran into Ari Gold in the lobby who had the same wide-eyed look of amazement. "Hats off to Irvin Kershner, man!" he said. How could it be that good? Better even than when we saw it as kids? My favorite thing about the film is the idea of three: Three worlds -- Hoth, Dagobah, Bespin; Three colors -- Blue (Hoth), Green (Dagobah), Pink (Bespin); Three stages of water -- Ice (Hoth), liquid (Dagobah), gas/cloud (Bespin). Irvin Kershner does not get the respect he deserves for directing this masterpiece. It doesn't play as clunkily and stupid-summer-movie-actiony as Jedi. Kershner takes a bunch of cartoon characters and spins them into a rich, moving melodrama. It's marvelous. The best.

4. BLUE VELVET
My parents were in Hawaii when I saw this movie. My mother's friend Shelley King was "chaperoning" me in my own home. I resented this because I was old enough to drive -- I didn't want or need a chaperone. Shelley came home one night and told me -- "I saw a very, interesting film. A very sick and twisted film. I don't know if you should see it." She told me that it was too creepy and violent for her -- but somehow she kept watching because she really wanted to know what happened to the characters. I saw it at the Movie House (which is now gone) in Portland, Oregon, with Megan Crabtree. This was before they had ripped out the fancy, cloth, old world seating and it was still a creepy movie joint from long ago. I remember the blue curtain in the beginning of the film very vividly. And being surprised by the morbid and black humor. It was the first David Lynch movie I had ever seen. The film is beautifully shot. Very colorful and very texture-full. I remember reading the Pauline Kael review soon after where she referred to it as a fairy tale or myth for adults. Upon recent re-viewing, the cast all seem so young, new and innocent. It's like a new mouth opening for the first time -- the world of David Lynch. It seems gentle and young. Not yet kitschy or tongue-in-cheek. The plot is unnecessarily complicated, especially near the end -- and the plot strings don't all come together (a common Lynch problem). But the power of his vision, this view of the world, makes those details almost superfluous. The magenta walls of Dorothy Vallens' Deep River apartment are rich enough to make us overlook what minor technical wiring is faulty or disconnected.

5. MANHATTAN
This film is on the list because of a screening I attended in 1987. Way out on the east side in Portland there was an old movie palace called the Roseway. The screen seemed impossibly wide and large. I saw the movie with Rachel Epstein when we were both supposed to be studying for the S.A.T. In fact it was the night before the S.A.T. and we had snuck away to go to the movies. I remember we turned to each other several times during this beautiful, wide-screen movie and said "Doesn't the screen seem HUGE?" Honestly, it was like we were lost inside the movie, as if it were lapping up at our seats. Maybe we were just sitting too close. But the expanse of the screen was breathtaking. And the widescreen format of the film was perfectly suited to the theater. The black and white cinematography is so crisp in this film! A devastatingly beautiful film. You really have to try to get to the Roseway in Portland and see this movie there. It was like a fantasy of a night at the movies. Anyway -- this was the first time I had seen the movie and I hadn't really seen that many Woody Allen movies. And for a young high-schooler, hearing Woody Allen's endlessly self-edited voice-over at the beginning was thrilling. It was funny in a way I did not know yet. Rachel seemed a little less bowled over by the humor -- she was more worldly. But we were both knocked flat by the enormous, iconic shots of black and white Manhattan slamming around on the screen before us. So gorgeous. The movie, with the Gershwin music, and the fireworks over the park. It was so very different from Portand in 1987. The film was on a double bill with Annie Hall, which seemed very underwhelming that night, like a little color TV screen in the same space. We had both seen it before, and it was funny, but the visuals did not compare. I wished later that we had left immediately after Manhattan. The scene of them wandering across the moonscape in the museum, in silhouette: difficult to convey what this meant to a young almost man sitting with an impossible conquest of a girl -- at a time when we were both under the gun of the fucking standardized test industry, sweating out scores and hoping to go away to college, possibly away to New York. In the end, when Woody Allen runs back to his young girlfriend and across the city, the screen was so big it was like he was running across all of Portland. We actually had to turn our heads to watch him go. That showing at the Roseway was so good, I have tried to never see this film again.

6. THE LADY EVE
I didn't know anything about Preston Sturges when I saw a clip of this movie at the Film Center Café on 9 th avenue at 45 th street in midtown Manhattan. The TV monitor above the booth seats was playing the American Movie Classics channel (this was before that channel lost all it's steam.) The opening credits showed a wily, animated snake eating his way through an apple. I paid my check and went out and rented the film immediately. This is the quintessential screwball comedy. I always find it surprising when you go back and see a "classic" movie -- expecting it to be staid and boring and melodramatic -- and instead you often find a film that is vibrant, silly, surprising -- a film whose characters are not dated or hard. Instead these sneaky classics play loose with normal dialogue, people talking like people talk today. They seem so real and close by -- not lost forgotten movie icons. Barbara Stanwyck is so accessible and real in this movie. She makes her role seem impossibly easy and fun. You will fall in love with her when you watch this film. The plot is well constructed, the dialogue is very funny. But you are watching this film for her. Preston Sturges, like Hitchcock, had a sudden burst of genius and made 3 or 4 brilliant films that are the foundation of his legacy. THE LADY EVE is one of these films and it is marvelous. It's so silly! And she is waiting for you, even now, on a rental shelf somewhere... Ms. Stanwyck.

7. ERASERHEAD
This is one of those movies I rented when I was home on summer vacation from college. I was watching it on the TV in my parent's house when my mother walked in, looked at the screen, and said "What the hell are you watching?" This situation happened again and again (most notably with John Waters' PINK FLAMINGOS). ERASERHEAD is a good litmus test for filmgoers -- someone named Hart Simpson told me that in college and I think he was right. People who don't like this movie -- they are wrong about movies. Conduct a few test runs for yourself and you will see. What's great about this David Lynch movie is that it seems to come directly from his subconscious. Although that sounds ridiculous and smacks of hokey film theory talk -- it is actually true. The movie works on it's own logic. It comes from a different, complete world. The shape of the baby, the behavior of the in-laws, and of course the lady in the radiator: all weird ideas that just spilled out of David Lynch's head and went right up onto the screen without being edited. Because he didn't fuck around with them, forcing them into a conventional story, they remain as rich, weird elements coalescing into a different kind of narrative. It's like watching microscopic projections of cellular biology: you don't understand how it works or what it means, but you can see and feel that it is working. Or it's like seeing pictures taken from inside your own stomach. You have never seen the inside before -- but you know it's there and true. Also, Lynch is clever enough to mock his own weirdness by teasing us with quickly solved oddities (see the suitcase being pulled out from under the bed.) In the early 90s this film was technically remastered and a glorious new print showed at the ritzy new Walter Reade Theater at Lincoln Center. I saw it with Jon Schwarz and we sat close enough to be lost in the picture on purpose. We had waited days for this screening. It was very nearly ruined by an idiot sitting in front of us who laughed down his nose in a very knowing way at every "joke." Still, today, I harbor the need to find this man and kill him.

8. PUNCH DRUNK LOVE
I saw this movie at the Union Square Theater with Sam Davis and Emily Gordon. During the movie, I turned to the two of them and said "for the rest of our lives, we will be able to say that we saw this together." I wanted to take a knife and slit my eyes open wider so that I could take in even more. I turned my cell phone on during the closing credits and started calling people as we walked out of the theater -- telling them that one of the greatest films that would be made during our lifetimes was on screens now. I remember thinking that no other movies had to be made -- ever -- that this was it, they got it, it was all done, movies are over, the last one -- the best one -- had been made and now we can all stop. (I have had similar reactions to two other movies: Run Lola Run and Ferris Bueller's Day Off when I was 16). I have calmed down slightly from this point of view. Also I now realize that my rapturous response has been damaging and detrimental to other peoples' opinions of this movie: I made the mistake of hard-hard-selling it to everyone I knew, raising their expectations so high that they were destined to feel let down. So BEWARE! I learned the hard way that this is NOT everyone's idea of a great movie. The movie has several amazing qualities: 1. Incredible, colorful visuals. The interstitial color fields are breathtaking. When have you ever seen anything so surrealistic as these cuts to wide, bright technicolor vistas? 2. The music and the sound effects, the endless drumming, the song from Popeye (!), the muttered and mumbled conversations, all of it floating just below the surface. 3. Great oddball, unexpected casting that works: Adam Sandler (it's not an Adam Sandler movie!) and Emily Watson (always dressed in shades of red). 4. The movie is a simple fairy tale, retold in the modern world. It is a basic romantic comedy told in a bleak, urban setting. The romance comes not from the setting, the beauty of the locations or the beauty of the actors, but rather from the color, the language, the music and sound, the pacing, the sudden bursts of violence (which are so excellent), and the threat of terror seeping through a mundane life. This is a wonderful, perfect movie. I bow before this film. The song from Popeye!

9. SPEED
I first saw Speed with Meg Martin, my brother BJ and his now-wife Jenny at the Lloyd Mall cinemas in Portland, Oregon (a crappy mall cinemaplex in a cheesy over the top suburban mall). We were all reluctant to see this movie because the premise sounded so incredibly hokey. But again, the triumph of the simplistic, the triumph of good plot construction, this movie was a smash! I started CRYING halfway through the movie. Every time I watch this movie, I start crying halfway through. My first screening of this film was like a religious experience. Here's why: this is a very simple film with the world's most unbelievably easy premise. There's not a lot of hokey Hollywood bullshit about what the character "wants" and what their "motivation is" and blah blah blah. There is no triumph of the human spirit crap in this movie. It's a stripped down action film. And it's done BEAUTIFULLY. They execute their plot with simple elegance. The action sequences build and the plot snowballs. What makes me cry is the sense of community that builds between the passengers on the bus as they face their predicament. Challenge after challenge is added for the bus and (mostly) they are all handled realistically (bus jump excluded -- although I did not mind this). Although prior to this movie I found her unwatchable, I fell desperately in love with Sandra Bullock during this film. I actually had a dream afterwards that she and I were engaged to be married(!) Her realistic, real person acting and her normal girl cutes are hard to resist. Maybe it's the ending -- all along they toy with us making references to how relationships that begin under extreme circumstances never work, and then they slyly put their lead characters together. I BOUGHT IT 100 PERCENT. It's all done so wittily, almost sarcastically. And yet it's incredibly touching. The music at the end, when they are waiting to die, is really cool. Again, this movie is like a simple fairy tale that hits the right buttons: fear and love. The screenwriter must be a genius because the director Jan De Bont only went on to make kinda shlocky junk. There was a special screening of this movie at the Cinerama dome in LA recently and I went. I was desperately excited. But the event was very poorly organized and there were only 30 people there. It was excruciating because JAN DE BONT WAS IN ATTENDANCE! I was so embarrassed for him -- that a larger crowd hadn't turned out -- the theater must have sat 500 or more. Anyway -- they showed the film, I cried, and then the program's idiot host (he was enormous) got up and tried to be witty for half an hour, it was awful. Finally they brought Jan De Bont up and he answered questions and talked about the film. For me, it felt like seeing the Pope. I wanted to ask "how did you develop the feeling of community between the passengers?" but somehow I kind of got the idea that this was either unintentional or all in my mind. I wanted to ask other audience members if they too felt that the film was like a perfectly made sword that is run through you in one swift motion. It is a story stripped down to it's essentials, wryly toying with the idea of action films, of action, of violence, of love, of movies, of buses, of the community of bus passengers. A phenomenal film. Listen closely to the music! It is astonishing! SPEED!

10. NIGHTS OF CABIRIA
I saw this movie for the first time during it's re-release several years ago in Manhattan. I was all alone at the Lincoln Plaza Cinemas. It was like being on a fantastic blind date, and falling in love on the spot. I think I actually clapped my hands together in joy at one point (being a complete dork). And yes, tears were shed. Very little needs to be said about this movie because everyone loves it so. The 50's cinematography is so very beautiful. The black and white images are not radiantly crisp, instead they are a bit murky, bleeding into one another. And as in all Fellini films there is a circus, magic, spectacle waiting just off screen (most notably when Giulietta Masina is onstage in the cabaret and we can see spangles, sequins, men dressed as devils and gods, girls in ballerina frocks -- all darting around offstage, just barely hidden.) There is one scene that is notably mysterious: when Cabiria and her new man are sitting at a café in Rome, late at night. The city seems to be deserted all around them and the sad little café seems to be the only spot of life or light for miles. It's very surreal, this little brown café with one table and a forlorn street light hanging above it. Is this what Rome was like back then? It's so entrancing. Especially the movie star's dark and quiet home, with the long driveway and the glass doors. Giulietta Masina gives a performance that is so good I can not hope to describe it with my meager writings here. At the end of the movie, her face, her tears, she looks to us. You will be undone with love for her.

11. RUN LOLA RUN
I saw this movie at the Anjelika theater in Manhattan (a HORRIBLE theater). I was all by myself and I had walked down from my apartment on 13 th street at the very last minute. Here again is an example of a movie that threatened to change my life, or possibly even kill me. I was, and I am not exaggerating, SOBBING throughout this entire film. I was SOBBING. Tears were literally streaming down my face. How was it possible that a movie this quick and smart and strong could also be so simple and so fucking alive with color?! I was crying because Lola's emotions are so pure; when faced with a truly impossible task -- she sets her jaw and does the only thing she can do with the time allotted -- she does the only thing that is within her grasp -- SHE RUNS! In the face of the whole world telling her NO she just starts running. Logic, self doubt and reason are chucked in favor of simple animal ACTION. She GOES FOR IT. How can you not burst into tears when confronted with her amazing courage and capability? Her maximum human effort? There is a stupendous moment in the third section of the film when Lola is out of ideas and time and we pull in close on her flaming red head as we hear her silent prayer to a higher being: "I don't know what else to do..." she says and closes her eyes -- "I'll just keep running..." And she runs with her eyes closed, waiting for divine guidance. All the hair on my body is standing up as I recall that scene. It's awesome. She is appealing to god, but not passively -- she inserts herself into the active world, asks that she be accepted into the machinations of fate, asks that for once everything go her way. When she plays the roulette table, she wins by sheer force of will. Her scream in the casino is the SCREAM OF LIFE. Lola is so frustrated that she is powerless in the cosmos and the anger has grown so great, that for one singular moment she is going to overcome everything, to take all power into her own hands. She runs, she screams, she conquers the world. Lola chooses action -- in spite of everything. (Also!: note the beautiful Japanese flag inspired posters on the wall as Lola passes. Oh color, oh Tom Tykwer...) Lola runs.

12. IN THE SPIRIT
I was in college when this movie came out and I read all the New York paper reviews, all of which said the same thing: "How wonderful to see Elaine May on screen again." In fact, one of the papers, I think it was the Village Voice, said: "Anything, anything -- to see Elaine May's face again." At the time -- I had no idea who Elaine May was. Why all the fuss? When I got back to Portland for the summer, I rented the movie. I remember watching it on the couch in the TV room while my mom stomped around the kitchen, doing something. It was really hot that day. I have to be very careful in what words I use to describe this movie. I don't want to be too effusive or passionate because THIS MOVIE IS NOT FOR EVERYONE. I used to think that when I finally met my true love, this movie would be sitting on their shelf. For me, this is the funniest movie. I love this movie. I love the comedy of this movie. Love is almost not strong enough a word. I LERRRVVVVV this movie. But beware! It is EXTREMELY SUBTLE comedy. It's like watching the world's greatest dancer do just a little soft shoe. Again, it's not for everyone. I once waxed poetic about this movie to a man who is now the head writer for FRIENDS. He rented it on my recommendation and subsequently told me that he "HATED IT." I seem to remember that he actually hated me for awhile. He really, really hated this movie. He said so -- in those exact words -- again and again. Maybe I sold him too hard on it. Or maybe this kind of comedy is just too silly and low-key. It's all so clever and simple and wry and SUBTLE. Again though, this plot is one I always fall for: people with boring lives get wrapped up in trouble and go on the run. But really this movie is so above that premise. Elaine May and her daughter Jeannie Berlin (the screenwriter) are just toying with us, giving us a rickety plot because we think we're supposed to want one -- when really all they want to do it make silly little jokes and create funny moments between mismatched characters. This movie is smarter than you. From the beginning, starting with the droll and deadpan narration (which was probably slapped on in editing) through to the end, this movie is an absolute gem! Oh, how I do love this movie. How I love Elaine May. Anything, anything, to see her face again. And surprise of all surprises -- Marlo Thomas is outstanding in this movie! She is a comic knockout! She hits a home run! Who knew she was funny -- at all? I had only ever known her from the Free to Be album -- but her performance here is so committed and not self-deprecating or tongue-in-cheek at all! She is so genuine in this part. The movie is mocking her wildly, but she loves her character and totally pulls it off. This makes me think that she deserves a far bigger career than the one she has now. Ironically, she ended up on FRIENDS as Rachel's mom. Maybe Andrew forgot. Seek this movie out -- but be wary -- lower your expectations. It's a gentle masterpiece. (It's hard to find though -- I had to buy my copy from some random distributor on Ebay. Good rental stores will have it.)

13. INTO THE NIGHT
I don't think I ever saw this movie in the theater -- but it was on cable about 8 million times when cable was new and I was a kid and we had HBO, Showtime, and The Movie Channel. My brother and I saw a bunch of movies hundreds of times, and this was one of them. I thought that everyone knew about this movie, but it seems to be a forgotten near-miss. I find that almost everything I write is somehow influenced by this film, that the premise is one that really hits home with me for some reason: the idea that someone is living an unhappy life, a normal humdrum boring mundane life -- and then something amazing happens to either save or change them. Not too dissimilar from Hitchcock's "the everyman in peril" theme (North by Northwest) -- but with a good 40 years of complacency, apathy, disillusionment and urban blight thrown in. This movie has become a part of my life -- the idea, the execution, the car commercial (go see Cal). This movie stars Jeff Goldblum and Michelle Pfeiffer (when I tell people this they always say "What? They're both in that movie? Why haven't I heard of this movie?") He is the bored everyman and she is the exciting and dangerous lady who drops (literally) into his life. Perhaps it's not a great movie, but the idea of a man of no consequence being pulled into a mystery -- and running around in the night -- seeing a different side of the world for the first time -- slowly coming back to life -- waking up from his suburban stupor -- this is a marvelous idea. And for me, this is an excellent execution of that idea. And the stars are both very winning. Lots of weird cameos and bizarre funny moments in this movie. Also -- there are some surprisingly eerie moments, and some darkly dramatic moments. There is a very strong sense of another world taking place at night. I think about Ed Okin all the time, about his life, and about how he got out -- about how excitement, the world, and danger came for him. I think about Michelle Pfeiffer in the shower, washing the blood off -- in slow motion.


THE NEXT FAVORITE 11 MOVIES

1. BRAZIL
This films is incredibly clever, beautifully shot, and fantastically realized. Terry Gilliam's world is so complete. A story-line I always fall for -- everyman lost in a humdrum, boring, nothing existence until he gets wrapped up in intrigue and adventure. This movie is so smart. The sets are big. The costumes innovative. It's great. Especially the dream sequences. The extended DVD from the Criterion Collection has great sketches showing how the dream sequence was meant to be extended. This film is RICH and BIG. An epic, colorful nightmare. (If you work in a horrible corporate job -- you will LOVE IT).

2. THE EXTERMINATING ANGEL
I saw this movie in college, at Columbia University's Casa Espana, in a Luis Bunuel film course. There is one moment in this film that is wildly shocking. I embarrassed myself terribly by shouting out "OH MY GOD!" It's a really, really weird film (from one of the founders of surrealism). And at times it can feel like a chore to get through it. But, like Eraserhead, it works on it's own odd logic, and it makes a certain sense, but only in a parallel world. Since I saw this film, I have been obsessed with the idea of time repeating itself, trying to recapture a specific moment, trying to recreate the intricate and impossible coordinates of one random spot in time. This film is a gorgeous, decadent ruin.

3. WHAT'S UP DOC?
Why did Barbra Streisand stop making comedies? She is brilliant in this film. Or maybe it's just Peter Bogdonavich simply and quietly tossing together an excellent and swift screwball comedy. The dialogue is exquisitely quick. And the two leads (Ryan O'Neal is the other) come together in just the right easy-but-hard combination. It's a great screwball comedy that doesn't try to justify stepping backwards 30 years into the old format. They trust what they are doing and they do it brilliantly. My brother and I saw this movie on TV when were kids about 10 times. We used to act out the car chase scenes in our driveway (the man jumping up and down in rage over his ruined wet cement). I think originally we thought this film was somehow related to Bugs Bunny. The judge at the end is fantastic. Andrea Rosen stole my VHS copy of this film and now I get to buy the DVD. Barbra Streisand is so winning here -- what happened?

4. SUBWAY
During the 80's I rented and watched a slew of foreign films that all had that same cool 80's-rain-on-the-windshield-Ridley-Scott-neon-sign look about them. And this is the best. (DIVA is a close second). It's VERY French, so there's a lot of cool posturing and bizarre dialogue, but it works. The visuals are excellent. What a weird little film this is about a totally random group of people. Why can't all films have this look, this cinematography, this early 80's film texture, this cool vibe? Why can't I be 15 again watching this movie? Why can't all movies end with Isabelle Adjani struggling through a crowd, running towards the camera, in slow motion?

5. NINE TO FIVE
I saw this movie at the Fox Cinema in downtown Portland, Oregon on Valentine's Day 1980 with my whole family. Earlier that day my mother had bought me a pair of blue Nikes with a red swoosh. The fabric of the shoe was soft and velvety -- I remember stroking it lightly during the movie. Afterwards we walked out of the theater with the whole crowd to find an enormous crane being assembled on Broadway. It was like walking accidentally onto a construction site. The crane stretched up and down the street for blocks and was lit with huge klieg lights. Construction workers yelled at us, at the crowd, to step carefully. During our drive home, there was a minor earthquake. We didn't feel it -- but they said so on the radio and I called Chris Nance when I got home and he verified it. I remember that night PERFECTLY. I also remember about a year later being on some family vacation in California with my whole family, when the 9 to 5 sitcom adaptation debuted on T.V. My family and I watched the sitcom from our huge hotel beds in disappointment. I think my dad said something like "Well, they lost what they had." (The sitcom starred Rita Moreno and Dolly Parton's sister. Sad.) 9 to 5 should be studied in film schools because the construction is FLAWLESS. The writer/director Colin Higgins wrote the film HAROLD AND MAUDE and is also responsible for FOUL PLAY! What more could you ask? I remember my mother's friend Betty Van Buskirk had told us all about this movie, about how funny it was and how much her family had enjoyed it. And she was right on the money. We laughed and laughed and laughed. Especially at the part with Dabney Coleman in the garage door opener. Lily Tomlin should be revered for her work in this movie. It's excellent! Yay! 9 to 5! (Sadly the Fox Theater is gone and downtown Portland has been taken over by cranes.)

6. BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA
This is one of those movies that my older brother loved. I watched it with him and he kept laughing at what an idiot Kurt Russell plays in the movie. It's very funny. And the whole Asian martial arts angle was decades ahead of it's time for American cinema. Kim Cattrall first popped up on my radar in this movie. She's really, really good here. John Carpenter says on the DVD that he wanted her to speak quickly, like Rosalind Russell in HIS GIRL FRIDAY and he couldn't believe how fast she could talk, how well she did it. She's the perfect American comedienne. Again, we have someone plucked from real life and thrust into a fantastic adventure. But where this movie triumphs is color. This movie is a riot of color. Most notably red and green. And the cool underwater secret passageways are so exciting. Again, there is something going on under the surface of life, under the surface of the city, under San Francisco. Monsters and villains. This movie is so fun.

7. BATMAN RETURNS (CATWOMAN SEQUENCES ONLY)
I saw this movie on opening night in San Francisco at the old movie palace way out on Geary which has since closed I think. There was a RAGING crowd waiting to get in and we had bought our tickets days in advance. There were even news cameras there to cover the event. The first movie had been such a stupendous blockbuster that people were lined up just to watch the spectacle. I saw it with Kristen Roberts and Carolyn Cohagan and Jon Schwarz. As we dashed into the theater to get good seats, Carolyn tripped over herself and fell into the aisle. We joked for days about local news people reporting "Local girl killed in stampede to see new Batman movie." Now, honestly, we can all admit that this movie is a mess. The plot is ridiculous. There are THREE different villains. I seem to remember that the screenwriter, Michael Lehman, who wrote and directed HEATHERS, actually went on strike at some point -- trying to force Tim Burton to let him finish the script because it was far from done. And that's obvious when you watch the film. But -- triumph of the visuals -- the movie is stunning to look at. The sets costumes and cinematography are even better than the first movie. For me, even though the movie as a whole is kind of a bomb, there is a plotline running through it that acts as a scintillating fuse to a giant barrel of dynamite: Michelle Pfeiffer rocks as Catwoman. This is her best performance. The scenes in which Catwoman is created echo the most startling moments from THE EXTERMINATING ANGEL: we see Selina come home and stumble through her sad urban routine twice; a moment in time is recreated exactly. The first time, she is a rundown cog in a machine, a slave to man, a woman beaten. The second time, after she has been murdered by her boss, she goes through the motions slowly, visiting her life as if she were a stranger to it. She feeds the cat and checks her messages in a trance, ghost-walking through her place in the world as she bids it goodbye. Anger overwhelms her and she explodes into rebellion, destroying her apartment and manifesting her revenge with sewing supplies and a black raincoat. This rebirth scene is so good I actually found myself shivering in the theater. Her scream at the top of her breakdown is not unlike Lola's scream in RUN LOLA RUN: a woman with no power, trapped in a dead-end situation, using only her most basic tools -- her body and her voice -- to protest fate, and to summon the strength to TURN EVERYTHING AROUND. These sequences capture everything that makes a comic book movie vital and fantastic. Hats off to Michelle Pfeiffer. Here's to hoping the Halle Berry movie is a bomb.

8. WOMEN ON THE VERGE OF A NERVOUS BREAKDOWN
When my mom was visiting me in college, we took my roommate Eugene Kashper down to a theater across from Lincoln Center (which is now gone) to see this film. The audience was packed and they laughed so hard it seemed the dialogue was only jammed in wherever it could fit, fighting with the audience for air time. A great plot, a great cast, a selection of silly circumstances. Again, it's very simple. Like a modern, Spanish fairy tale. I was swayed by the color, the sets, the costumes, the cartoon look of it all. Characters simplified into base emotions criss-crossing through Madrid. When I watched it again recently I was really surprised to find the pacing slow and casual. The live audience had made the movie seem like a mad house. The look is very colorful, alive, vibrant. It's zany. (And that's the director's mother reading the news.)

9. PEE WEE'S BIG ADVENTURE
The woman sitting in front of me asked me to stop laughing so loudly. I saw it with Mark Sacco and some other guys when we were in high-school. The scene with the twisty road signs is what caused me to laugh so hard. The movie was so impossibly silly! You never would imagine that they could get it off the ground. I remember seeing some TV story about the movie and it showed Pee-Wee's fuzzy bunny slippers sniffing their way across the floor to a stuffed fuzzy carrot: I was riveted. So many amazing jokes ("Paging Mr. Herman..."). It's a perfect gem -- it seems so effortless! A few months later I took Amy Moorman to see it. I was full of expectation and excitement. The theater was empty and she stared at me the entire time with an odd questioning look on her face.

10. WALKABOUT
When I was subletting my friend Christine Turner's apartment in midtown Manhattan, I found this movie in her collection. I knew nothing about it. The plot is very surprising. I don't want to say too much and potentially ruin it for anyone. Again, it's about normal people pulled out of a boring life and thrust into an adventure. When Jenny Agutter looks over the shoulder of her significant other, reminiscing about the desert and the boy, it is wonderful and sad. This film is really, really great.

11. XANADU
I saw this movie at Mall 205 with my mom when I was really young. Again, story of a man trapped in a boring existence who is lucky enough to meet his roller skating muse Olivia Newton John! I will not hear any criticism of this movie. I love this movie. For years I wanted to try and find the mural and roller skate through it into disco fantasy heaven. The opening song with the neon muses coming to life to ELO music -- this, ladies and gentlemen, this is a movie.


GREAT BAD MOVIES

1. THE LONELY LADY
This movie is a fan-fucking-tastic piece of crap. What the hell could they have been thinking when they made this movie? You must rent it with some friends and enjoy the camp. Special notice for excellence goes to the post-lesbian-encounter-shower-scene. Pia Zadora (a mess) plays a character who fucks her way to the top in Hollywood. When she finally wins an academy award, she gets up and tells it like it is: "I fucked my way to the top!" she yells from the podium. Make special note of the names of the other nominees in her category, including a film titled: "Candles Burning Free..." Yes, a film called Candles Burning Free. This film is a treasure trove of trash.

2. CENTER STAGE
When you want to see something crappy and melodramatic, look no further than this masterpiece. I can never understand why there isn't more appreciation for well made schlock. This film purports to be no more than it is: a simple story of kids in ballet school (!). They pack it up with movie-of-the-week plotlines and romantic fluff. The reviewer from Time Out New York said "This movie is a piece of shit but I will probably watch it one thousand times before I die." I wrote a letter (published) thanking her for the recommendation. David Denby wrote a scathing review in the New Yorker and I wrote him a letter (unpublished) that said: "What the hell are you doing reviewing movies like this anyway David Denby? This is wonderful rainy Saturday afternoon crap. And it doesn't pretend to be anything other than that. Leave it alone." The big number at the end of the film is so ridiculous that it crosses the line into genius. It's fucking marvelous! Center Stage is a triumph.

3. MOMMIE DEAREST
If you haven't seen this movie, I envy you. Come over to my house and we will rent it. It's not really a movie. It's a documentary. The subject of the documentary is Faye Dunaway going absolutely fucking bonkers on film. No performance in the history of cinema can rival this tour-de-force. She is crackers. She goes nuts! In the scene where she nearly chokes her daughter to death, pay special attention to the look on her face -- right before her hands reach out for the throat -- she looks like some evil animated zombie. It is not a human face. Then when she is actually throttling her daughter on the floor -- there is a shot from behind (which must be the stunt doubles) where Joan is bouncing up and down, riding her daughter like a roller coaster. Spectacular. You will marvel at her insanity. There are too many questions to be asked about how this movie happened, how she was allowed to act like this, what kind of film they thought they were making... All you can do is sit, watch, rewind, and watch again. My brother and I saw it again and again on cable as kids. We didn't really understand what was going on. I was too young to understand that Faye Dunaway was playing someone else -- I thought she was Joan Crawford. I thought they were the same person. When Faye Dunaway would show up at awards shows on TV, I thought we were seeing some strange hybrid lady. I didn't understand. It was terrifying. She is terrifying. Now, as an adult, I can appreciate this film for what it is: PURE FUCKING GOLD. I'm not mad at you -- I'm mad at the dirt. Barbara please!

4. CHARLIE'S ANGELS*
I put a star next to this title because I don't actually think it's a "bad" film. I think it is an excellent piece of Hollywood moviemaking. This movie KNOWS that it is a cheap remake of a crappy 70's TV show -- and it doesn't care! Drew Barrymore and company stir up a huge pot of fun with no attempt to redeem the film from the cheese-factor. They just want to have a great time! And you will too. I saw it in Times Square at midnight with Hugh Groman and afterwards the audience gave it a standing ovation. I was elated for weeks. The public at large embraced this film and rightfully so. It's a perfect sunny, fun action movie with giggling girls kicking butt at the center. Don't knock this film. We have enough self-important crap -- we need more movies like this: perfectly executed escapist trash. I love this movie (and the sequel).

5. DEEP BLUE SEA
This movie can get kind of tedious after a while, but there is one sequence that is not to be missed. I have heard several stories of people who went out to the restroom at the wrong time and missed Samuel L. Jackson's finest moment. I saw it in the theater with a big crowd and we laughed and applauded all the way through. A good time.

6. CONGO
If you want to see a bad movie, rent this one. It is startlingly bad. Sadly it only rarely crosses over into fun-bad territory as it rockets downward, getting worse by the minute. I saw it in Chicago with Meg Martin and afterwards, as we lamented the low production values, she said "Please. The special effects looked like I did them." When a volcano explodes, the lava looks like red carpet pulled past the camera very quickly. I told everyone I knew in Chicago how bad it was and eight years later Zeb Walker called me to say "I just saw CONGO on TV and I had to call to say you were right. It really is spectacularly and mysteriously awful." The plot concerns monkeys running around the jungle shooting a laser gun that is powered by diamonds. Yes, it's true. And Ernie Hudson is really bizarre in this movie -- he is playing Errol Flynn. It's just weird and bad all around. The kind of movie you sit in the theater watching and you think: "What the hell is? What am I watching? Is this a movie? Will the monkeys get the diamond back and use the laser to blow up the jungle? When will this end?"

7. KING RALPH/LEONARD PART 6/JUSTIN TO KELLY
I have not seen any of these movies. But I have a contest with my friends where we regularly try to top each other in answering this question: "What's the worst movie you have ever seen in the theater?" Kate Martin won, hands down, with KING RALPH. She knew it too. As soon as the topic came up she shot her fist into the air and yelled "KING RALPH!" She actually went to a theater one day and said "One for KING RALPH, please." It is inconceivable. Carrie Myers won with LEONARD PART 6. What was she thinking? Did she see and ad in the paper and say to herself "Oh, that looks good!" JUSTIN TO KELLY is too recent to take the top prize. But in about 5 years this is going to be a gold medal winner. Someday someone will be able to say that they really bought a full price ticket for this film and sat through its entirety in the theater. And that is beautiful. Cinema at its finest. Enjoy!